Amitty

About me:

I tried so hard to hold my small piece of reality, and even that little wasn't built to last. Sometimes it seems as though I have a reapers touch and a mortal heart. Life's too fragile for me to hold, Midas's touch made gold. To have such a life, where your touch made things bright and beautiful, instead, if I get too close, I reach for that impossible gleaming future, but I got too close and I had to watch it whither away. It doesn't just hurt because it's dead, but it suffered. It wasn't quick, it wasn't painless and nothing I did could fix it. It's this mortal heart that's to blame, it makes me fond and fosters attachment, an attachment that inevitably results in death. Sometimes I'm able to block the sounds of suffering, other times it is like a quiet screaming, not loud but impossible to ignore, a scream heard from within. I've tried to distance myself and suffocate the heart but the death of a heart is an eternal death, I don't know which is worse. To watch death forever or to die eternally either one is an infinity of impossible decisions and suffering. It is a curse most cruel, being blessed to love and see or even gain a taste of a future most beautiful but cursed to watch everything die slowly and painfully. I wonder if there really is a counterpart of me out there, one who brings life. A future, a dream, a relationship... One I can't kill. I am a creation most vile, lovable and loving but a bittersweet wandering grave yard. Perhaps this is a punishment, a curse, to destroy and be haunted by it all. Bound to eternally feel the suffering I brought. A Mortal Reaper... Perhaps there may be peace in death, but these answers I have not. The chaos and destruction of my past speaks of me in astounding vitriol and despair. Begging me to spare others, but such a request is impossible. My curse, a walking paradox, I require life and joy like anyone else but should I get even a faint glimmer, everything involved will die and the souls will be added to the army that will be my inevitable demise. Their numbers are far greater than the minutes I have spent on this earth. Before their passing they loved me, cared for me, as I did for them. Now I am the deceiver they would have taken a bullet for me but then it was me who unwillingly pulled the trigger. Holding the gun that brought an end to everything but me.

Me... The Mortal Reaper Unwilling

Who I'd like to meet: