About me:

Welcome to The Asylum

THE EARLY YEARS

I've been making music since around 2006. I started writing initially, maybe a year or two before that, without even having instrumentals, and it just grew from there. It was late 2006, early 2007 that I released my first music online. My biggest inspirations are Mike Shinoda and Eminem. But let it be known that in the 90's we had a record player in the living room and I remember listening to Tone Loc on that bih. lol I made a little EP on a shitty computer with a shitty mic, with a Microsoft Paint edited photo of my little brother as the album cover. Crimson Tears EP. Crimson Tears is the title of the first song I ever released, which was literally recorded over a random freestyle beat I downloaded from LimeWire. I don't know where I thought this hobby was headed but I did have interest in making a career out of it, somehow, to earn a living doing something I actually enjoyed doing. I made more low quality music for a few years, a song here, a song there, every once in a while, until I was "discovered" by an indie label in my area that was recruiting new artists.


THE LABEL YEARS

I worked with them for a few years, making a shitload of new songs, on original instrumentals provided to me by the label. Eventually I learned the production side of it a little better and started making my own beats, so a decent amount of the music I made with them was produced by myself, I had a signature sound with big movie score sounding instruments, but I wasn't that good at producing and most feedback I got was negative, so I stopped producing mostly. lol This ended up going nowhere, as the label collapsed due to internal conflict and general fuckery. So I ended up by myself again, but now I had a condenser microphone and enough knowledge to make music by myself which was better quality than it was before.


THE SOLO YEARS

I worked my ass off on music for a while, dropping a lot of content, admittedly with inconsistent quality and with no direction, I had a lot of mixtapes and EPs but they're all lackluster, I have them on MediaFire if you want a free copy of any of them. I'll list my discography somewhere eventually probably. During this time I made whole collaboration mixtapes and did a lot of features with other underground rappers. Also made a lot of YouTube Videos. I was basically a blogger before it was cool, but I fell off due to lack of motivation and my life being too boring for me to figure out what the hell to make videos about anymore. lol


INTERMISSION

Somewhere in here I did 2 live performances, but both were a nightmare because I am morbidly obese and mentally ill. The first one was a talent show tournament kind of thing, so I had multiple songs ready to go, in case I made it deeper into the tournament, but only ended up getting to perform one because I got eliminated, which I was happy about because then I didn't have to perform again. lol The second one was literally a show I sold tickets to, and got a whole 15 set, where I performed a few songs I had the legal rights to perform, but was terrified the entire time and immediately after that show, I said I was retiring. lol


THE HIATUS

I ended up getting a real job that took enough of my time and satisfied me financially that I slowed down on music, got married, moved around a few times, and my whole life changed and I never really had time or resources to make new songs, but I did still write new verses every so often when I got inspired to do so. I still made a one off song every once in a great while, some collabs whenever the opportunity presented itself, but as far as I was concerned, I was basically retired from trying to be a rapper.


THE COMEBACK

Life as I knew it crumbled before me when my wife of 7 years, girlfriend for 13 years, passed away, in my arms, December 6th, 2020. I've never felt the same ever since, and think about her every single day. Her friends think I am some kind of monster, and that it's my fault she died, among other things they have said to me, or about me, which are wrong, and I let it make me feel bad more than I should, because I literally took care of my wife like a nurse while she was sick, while her friends didn't even visit her, and they all blame me like I did something to her. My identity is shattered without her, and it's been a whole year of me feeling like a part of me is missing and I'll never be able to get it back. The only thing I can do to keep moving forward and not let this negativity be the end of me is to learn how to evolve in a positive way, and become someone new, someone who is whole again, and with a healthy mindset, and I am not there yet. I ended up moving back in with my mother and brother, at 30 years old, which I also feel bad about, but they needed somewhere to move right at the same time that I did, and neither of us could afford rent without each other, so we just got a place together again. I used my income tax return and stimulus money to rebuild my home studio, which I've always called The Asylum. I've made a lot of music in 2021, a few collabs, some one off songs, and an inconsistently edited album called Formulaic Fuckery. It didn't turn out quite how I wanted it to, but I'm only mildly disappointed in it, because it didn't get the attention I wanted and I couldn't make it better than it is at the moment, but my next shit will be better, or I won't make anything at all. The song GRUDGE which is embedded on this profile is from that album.


THE PRESENT

I am currently in flux. I have a lot of shit I've started and haven't finished, I rarely get too inspired and when I do I try to make something and it just doesn't feel right and doesn't excite me so I end up making something lackluster or nothing at all, and it just makes me feel worse about myself. I am letting people down, letting myself down, and I admit this. But I am still here, doing what I can, and new music will come eventually. I just need to take the time to do it right so it will be as good as I know it can be and not some rushed trash.


FAME, FORTUNE, SUCCESS?

Coming soon, hopefully.

Who I'd like to meet:

Enjoy Your Stay