Vicky Cordero

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I put my head in my hands and just sat there, crying. I had been holding on for so long, trying to fight for something and someone who just didn’t care.. Or at least, you didn’t show me that you cared.. and everyone needs to feel that, especially from the person that is supposed to love you most of all. I had fought back my hurt and suppressed my emotions so long wanting to believe we would get better and grow closer that when the wall around my heart finally did break.. The tears and feelings just flooded out. Truthfully, I can’t tell you if I’m crying because we won’t be together any more or because I’m sad that I lost little bits of myself along the way. I guess it doesn’t matter, but as I wipe the tears away, I realize what matters more: Digging my way out of the heartbreak and trying to find my path back to my happy place. It’s been so long since I’ve been content that I have a hard time remembering what it feels like.. And that hurts my soul. I fought someone who wouldn’t fight for us, did everything for the one person who should have done the same for me.. But never really did. I wanted to believe so much in your words that I ignored my intuition and overlooked the things you did- and didn’t do. Maybe you loved me the best you could, but I know now that will never be enough for me. I need the kind of love that makes me glow when we’re together. The sort of love that stands beside me through the storms, not against me. I want the happily ever after that makes everything better just by being with them. Everyone tells me that those ideals aren’t real and that I should be more realistic in what I expect from my love story.. But that’s just it. I want it all and I’m never going to settle for less than what I know that I deserve. I love deeply, live passionately and dream endlessly.. And I want someone that shares my vision for the future, Not a person just out to feed their ego without really giving me what I need. So, as I sit back, a weak smile creeps across my tear stained face. In the end, I guess I should thank you. You showed me exactly what I don’t want from love and life, and what I’m willing to be okay with.. Most of all, you helped me realize that I can’t lose myself chasing love, Because real love just makes you a better version of yourself.. And I was never anything other than upset trying to love you. So, as I say goodbye and close the door on the this chapter, I genuinely wish you the best. I hope you find what you’re looking for because you helped me realize exactly what I want and need out of my life and my importantly, love. I am holding out for the very best in life and love..and I won’t settle for anything less. Maybe none of it will ever be perfect, but that’s okay.. Nothing really is, anyway. But at least it will be real, it will be passionate and most of all, I’ll just be happy.

Heroes

I do my best to stay strong no matter how hard life gets sometimes.. But there are just times when I get overwhelmed. It can be something small that pushes me over the edge or just the weight of it all crushing my spirit. No matter the reasons, who, why or how..sometimes, the tears just come bursting out. And often, that’s just what needs to happen. Maybe I need a quick cry to just let it all out. Perhaps I need a few minutes to clear my mind and let the tears wash my perspective clean again. Whatever the reason is, I don’t know…but I do know that those little moments of emotional release keep me moving forward sometimes. I’m not weak and I’m able to overcome anything, so I’m never going to cry because I can’t handle it… I can deal with anything life wants to throw at me. But at the end of a long day full of frustration and angst, a quick outburst just seems to do the trick.. It doesn’t make me weak… It makes me human. And I’ll take real, emotional passion over lackluster and dull any day. I use the tears, the failures and the struggle to fuel the fire that keeps me burning brightly every day. I won’t say every day is a win or that I always have it all together, But I’ll never stop rising up out of the ashes of a bad day, broken heart or emotional wreckage. I’m a strong woman, and this is my story. I’ll always make sure it’s a story worth telling. I got this.

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