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General

I hate feeling like this. So pathetic. Do people like you ever feel this way? I figure you don't. You seem so perfect all the time. Lord must've been generous to you. He never answers any of my prayers. I don't know why. What did I do? What is wrong with me? Please, just tell me so maybe I can get better. I don't want to end up like Mama. I want to be dancing up on the screen like the pretty gals in the pictures. I want what they have so badly, to be perfect, to be loved from as many people as possible to make up for all my time spent suffering. Sometimes I wake in the middle of the night and the fear washes over me, 'cause what if this is it? What if this is right where I belong? I'm a failure. I'm not pretty or naturally pleasant, or friendly. I'm not smart, or funny, or confident. I'm exactly what Mama said I was, weak. I don't know why.

Music

heavy by the marias, show me how and sugar by men i trust, natural by shelly, i want you by mitski, summer air by honey gentry, last train at 25 O'clock by lamp i love japanese shoegaze/alternative songs

Movies

léon the profissional and i believe in unicorns

Television

nana and yellow jackts

Books

white nights by fiódor dostoiévski

Heroes

chuu from loona and che guevara

Twitter

@booplushd0ll

Spotify

Spotify