Readmyabtme jay.jeff

"Reading my abt me"

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About me:

Hello jeffrey, long time no see. I think you will probably be anxious right now, or think wtf and be paranoid, you dont have to. I dont know how long it has been, a lot has changed for me, and still, all stayed the same. This is not the reason i am invading your privacy, the reason is that i was reminiscing one or two days ago and still have a lot of emotion about it, i mean how can you be with somebody behind my back? For 1 whole year, how can you write to me that you like me and its a lie? Honestly i think its better for you this way, that you cried because of me i am sorry for it, i never wanted to hurt you, if i saw you smiling and happy again it would hurt my heart because i would think Fuck was i really that shit of a person that i am the reason the person i like is sad? But i would leave it at that and find closure because, i want you happy in the end, i always wanted you to be happy whether i am part of that or not is irellevant to me, i think that used to be your definition of love. I mean, What were you even expecting of me? Every step i took was another mistake to you. I still keep the shit that you made for me and every time i just wonder why you became so detached from me when i thought that you were just like me. Its weird to write a one way text. Writing i wish you the best and live your best life is really superficial . So what can i say? I have never seen you happy with me, i mean you've tried, i loved you, i loved who you were when you met me because you chose me to be your friend. The more i tried to change you because i just didnt want you to go away, because i didnt want you to be sad, depressed or damaged, the more i caused you all of this, you didnt know what i was expecting from you and every try of you to change something was another mistake for me, at least thats how i imagine it felt to you. so you've become tired of it and numb, perverse punishment. Edit: in this part i wrote something that would have made you cry, because i wanted to make you feel something, but i didnt. So i dont know how to end this message... i miss you and hate you for hurting me.