𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫

OMIGODS HI! I MISS YOU SO FREAKING MUCH! PLEASE DO NOT BE A STRANGER! ️✨

by 𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫; 1671413860; Report

Hi

by 𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫; 1628103011; Report

Hiiiii

by 𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫; 1628102766; Report

Hey, so sorry for just now getting back to you. I'm doing alright, how about you?

by 𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫; 1625644147; Report

Just on the exercise bike making a sweat! Getting back in shape so I can take on the world. Glad you are good, i hope things are on an upward climb for you :) visit the heyspace more often!

by Donald; 1625797896; Report

Damn, a two weeks later and shit actually hit the fan for me... I was doing well at the time and now I'm in a complete crisis. Life is a complete bitch, hitting me with more things than I can mentally handle...

by 𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫; 1626335303; Report

I did all of the things you see on my page, yes! And you're welcome! If you ever need anything please don't hesitate to reach out. My IMs are always open to the public

by 𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫; 1614103774; Report

I may sound like a caring and loving person but that's only because I am! I've also heard that saying somewhere, I just don't remember where or when exactly. But thank you for remind me that.

I'm managing but still alive. You?

by 𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫; 1614091957; Report

I hear that. Everyday is a battle on its own.
I'm doing alright, thank you for asking!

by XxDahliaxX; 1614130021; Report

First and foremost, thank you for sharing that with me. It means a lot to know that even though we may be strangers over the internet, you opened up like that so gracefully. Absolutely beautifully written.

Secondly, I am sincerely sorry from the bottom of my heart you had to endure such a loss such as a precious soul fleeting from this world, involuntary or not. You're definitely right about feeling being horrific to deal with. Sometimes it becomes overbearing and just too much for my shoulders to handle. It's hard for me to cope to the point where I still text my dead best friend's phone number every single night before falling asleep. I know it's not active anymore but still. It brings me peace and comfort anyway.

It's words and kindness like yours and Kelly Chaos' that makes me feel alive again. It fuels my ambition and reminds me why I'm still here. Though I might lose my focus, stumbling and falling, I will rise again and pick myself back up. I just hope you stick around to see me blossom into the person I want to be.

by 𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫; 1614091876; Report

Connecting with people is something I do best. I think it's the empath in me. I can relate to a shocking level of trauma. 2008-2017 were NOT good years. I have some kind of horror story for each one of them. But the experience that I have tried to take from that disaster is that everyone is going through something. I would never want to be unkind to someone, purposefully, even if they had reacted towards me first. a) I don't have the energy to be mad. I just don't. b) if they are reacting at me, they are probably hurting themselves, and compassion, while slightly irritating, might be the better way to receive their anger. Doesn't mean I have always succeeded in that. But I try. Because life is hard and there is no guidebook. We aren't taught in schools how to deal with trauma, or death, or really how to *live* life. It's a trial and error sort of thing.

I think it's sweet that you still text their number. I don't do that. But I have a voicemail that's saved and whenever I miss her voice, I listen to that. Sometimes, I'll go back and scan old emails or Skype chats, something that was just an *us* thing. She was much more of a public figure than I was, so while there is material out there that is of her...it's not the same. It's not the connection that *we* had, specifically. But ugh. Yes. Survivors guilt is just awful sometimes.

It's okay to lose focus, as long as you come back on track, at some point. I pretty much disappeared from social media (minus FB) for all of 2020. As someone whose job relies on social media...that wasn't a smart move. But I didn't have the strength or the spoons to do much. I'm just now getting back on track. Sometimes losing focus isn't a one day/one week event. Sometimes it's a 365 day one. Just as long as you come back. And remember your dreams and goals, and hopes for the future.

I hope you do have the chance to fall in love and raise children. Your wisdom, at nineteen, is truly amazing. I'm just a touch over a decade older than you and if I had had your wisdom and words at that age, it probably would've saved me a year or two of the bullshit that was the end of my teen years. You have a way with words...and if you can, and you want to, you should pursue that. A lot of people could benefit from hearing your story.

by Josefina ; 1614115427; Report

Thank you for checking it out, it means a lot to me. And thank you, you too! Just make sure to stay hydrated

by 𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫; 1614091519; Report

I'm fucking speechless right now, I don't even know what to say right now besides thank you. I'm literally in tears after reading this

by 𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫; 1614062545; Report

I don't even know you but I love you already. My heart is with you, Spencer.

by Jaxxy; 1614062722; Report

Thanks.

by 𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫; 1614051763; Report

Thanks and no problem ️

by 𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫; 1614048624; Report

I appreciate it so much, thank you ️

by 𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫; 1614048675; Report

Love and miss you...

by 𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫; 1614048694; Report

always here!

by ash lynx; 1614089692; Report