Kara

About me:

If you shit in the sink at exactly 4:20 am and yell “amogus” 69 times,a shadowy figured called mom will come to beat you up and you will wake up in a place called the orphanage I own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended. penis serious penis delirious go into the woods call that penis mysterious penis various penis hilarious dawn of the age of the penis aquarius penis ponticulous penis meticulous wearing my clown shoes im penis ridiculous I fucking hate gaming laptops. Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops. We apologise to the majority of customers in the East London area who have been completely cut off from their Virgin Media internet services following extensive damage to our network caused by a fucking UKPN explosion underground that we're not telling anyone about. We're currently not on site and are sitting on our asses collecting your money while providing nothing in return. Don't worry, it will be fixed by this afternoon. Sorry, we meant in 2 days. Oh, did I say 2 days? I meant to say you're gonna be going 5 days without the internet that you pay £100 a fucking month for, and since we keep moving the goalposts, you can't claim compensation for a late fix. Get fucked and keep giving us your money because you don't have anyone else in your area who gives you these speeds.

Hi, I'm Kara.
Yes, the name comes from exactly where you think it does. I'm bad at describing myself in text so if you want to know more about me just look at my interests and stamps.

I often look in the Browse section for profiles I like, so if you're wondering why this rando sent you a friend request, that's why. You should still look at my DNI/BYF before accepting, though.

The song you're hearing right now is the Poké Mart theme from Pokémon Diamond and Pearl.

PFP and art above by Viennais8

Who I'd like to meet:

Stamps