SiN

General

The idea of living forever is unfathomable. Knowing that death will one day end my suffering eases my soul. If I can accept the end of my own life, why can't I accept the end of something that once gave it meaning? I pray that the end of this life will start a new beginning in a different lifetime with you. I spend so much time meticulously picking apart everyone's personality. Getting to know the ins and outs of them. Figuring out why they are the way that they are. Sometimes I wonder why I immerse myself in the most insignificant details of other people's lives, but then I realize that I take the time to deeply understand everyone else in a desperate attempt to find someone that will do the same for me. Before meeting you, my entire world was bound by the borders of familiarity. Because I never knew what freedom felt like, I allowed my existence to reside in the state confinement. The restraints that once filtered my reality dissolved in the presence of your constant enlightenment. My livelihood was fueled by the thrill of your influence. Even now that you're gone, the flame of inspiration that you ignited will never burn out of my soul.

Music

If the sun could reach me, it would cup my face and open my eyes. But I have no place to hide anymore and my body is going numb. I am shedding all that's left of me and soon I will be nothing but what I have thought myself over to be. A thick layer of regret covers my floor and binds my windows shut. I don't remember anything that was before and I don't care what happens after. The memory of warmth had been my key, but that, too, is loosing it's grip.

Movies

What could be left behind if there was nothing before? I see it so clearly but I know it not to be true, what have I thought to make me this way. I made myself so uncomfortable with myself, and my mind is being molded into something foul. You can't get back innocence but I will try to replace it with what's left behind.

Television

Do you remember the disgusting default within yourself? Your body was built from it and you can never get it out. The alluding smell is killing your insides and rotting your brain. Can you feel yourself being melted into mush? Being held together like string? You dance like an old puppet.

Books

I weigh myself down with rocks and look up. The rushing water has blurred my vision of the sky. The filling of the lungs feels like breathing in cold, but the departure must be tolerated. I die in the water unwillingly but choose to believe it will baptize and people will say it washed away my guilt. But there is no guilt for the dead and god is too selfish to let me live.

Heroes

When I die vultures will swarm my body and tear apart my skin. They will make a meal out of misery and I won't Rest In Peace, I haven't for such a long time. They prey on my weak mind and wait for me to fall, they know what I am afraid to say. But finally someone will make use of me. I will be more than just a waste.