novistania

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tldr;; i didnt wanna be unfriended and then i went bonkers but now i dont care anymore LOL /pos ———— discl:; im not good at communicating as you already know, but i tried my best to sound as like positive as i can, so sorry if it doesnt come off that way lol /gen ———— hey takumi, i was gonna friend you in hopes doing this whole apology bit to you but ———— after a while of just sitting around, i realised how tired i am of being frustrated like this ———— not even just frustrated about you, but frustrated about a lot of other things in life RN. (you were a really big thing i was worried about though) ———— sooo…. im just gonna give up. being too unhappy is annoying and being too happy is annoying too (me personally) ———— so im just gonna be calm and just let go of everything thats pricking me. cause im really tired of thinking too much about silly things ———— (this sounds like a promise… i dont want it to sound like that :skull:) ———— i hope youre doing okay. if the unfriending thing was just paranoia then…. get better soon or something idk lol ———— (cuz i also noticed envy got unfriended too #juststalkerthings) ———— cause sometimes i think about how much you beat yourself up or how much you get beat up at all and i wish that didnt have to happen ———— ive thought about you every single day, but im really tired of doing that ———— if you wanted to see what i was going to apologise about, it was something like this: ———— I’m sorry if our last interaction together seemed hostile or really passive-aggressive ———— I was going to apologise to you sooner but I got really scared (because I didn’t know if you had like a deep HATRED for me) ———— (yk im not good at communicating so i just DIDNT ask or try to say hi or anything) ———— … i forgot what the rest of it was gonna be, it was really sappy ———— idk dude ———— typing this stuff is making me disorientated and idek what these words mean, it’s like saying “spaghetti” over and over and over ———— I just hope you’re okay is all and I’m sorry if your experience with me was like.. ANNOYING ———— I’m just gonna try not to care too much about things anymore ———— I bought these new big headphones recently and I put on white noise for like the entire day now and I’m just calm the entire time ———— i wish i had something better to say irdk lol ———— Idk how you feel about me, I was gonna ask about that if I ever got to do the apology bit but ———— I shouldn’t care ———— And I know you made me feel really happy for a while, even after our relationship ended, so thanks for that. I don’t hate you. In fact, I really loved you, past tense ———— gah damn i sound like a psycho [lady] ———— «spacehey filtered out the B word in my first draft» ———— writing all of this, you’re probably not gonna see any of this, but really, no hard feelings, I just hope youre not too crazy either. I hope you take care of yourself too, and I hope Toby or whoever it is takes care of you the best they can too ———— live laugh love ———— london ————

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idek what the point of writing THIS was either. IDK WHY I CARE SO MUCH buut the main takeaway is just: take care

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